Why are you still single?

This question came up in conversation the other day. I chose to answer it truthfully. Here’s what I’ve learned about my past decisions, and how they are helping me make different choices moving forward.

This question came up in conversation the other day. And I answered it… truthfully. It was an interesting (and very brief) look back at the 2 previous & 1 current stage of my life, and why I am still single.

I feel as though this is a question where you typically get 1 of 2 things. Either they lie & you don’t get anything remotely truthful. Or the 1 out of 100 that do tell the truth… you find out the truth is pretty scary, and there is a reason why they’re still single… and it’s frightening.

My response is neither a lie nor a frightening physical deformity.

In high school, I was kind of a player. I loved the attention from whoever was willing to give it to me. Immature? Absolutely. Lesson learned? Yup.

In college, I wasn’t willing to commit. I didn’t realize that a relationship took time, effort, sacrifice & commitment… and lots of it. Selfish? Very. Lesson learned? It took a while, but yeah, now I get it.

Post college to present day… I haven’t met a lot of new people. I let work consume my life for the first 2.5 years. Then came running, and I got over-competitive. Tunnel vision set in. My social life took a back seat. Lesson learned? Well, I’m still working on this one, but I have been making improvements.

With all things in life… you get to make choices. Relationships are no different. In looking back, I haven’t made a relationship a priority in my life. And the consequence of my choice is simple: I’m single.

Now that I know why, I can make the choice to do something about it. Here’s to change…

5 thoughts on “Why are you still single?”

  1. I love you Dave… i mean that in a non stalkerish absolutely non weird way, I swear.

    You’re amazingly self aware, and you know what? It’s that self awareness that’s going to help you find the right ‘one’. Sadly we’ve established that I am NO help in that department at all…

  2. @emily – only the good ones, and especially when they challenge me to think about stuff I’ve never thought of before.

    @g – don’t let that stop you from trying.

  3. So many runners I know are either in intense serious relationships or are single…I honestly think that it’s something with runners. We’re so committed to our bodies, our training, and ourselves that we don’t take time to worry about others (in that sense, I don’t mean we’re horrible people..haha). It’s a scary reality…but the right one will come around when least expect ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. @Justine – While I agree it has something to do with running, training & my commitment to the sport, I disagree that “it’s something with runners.”

    While I am definitely a runner, I’m also many other things. While my commitment to running is a solid one, I’m also committed to growing my business & relationships with family & close friends.

    There was a time in my life when I made choices as if I were only a runner, and nothing else. These decisions did not include any time to worry about others. And I know this type of behavior can be found in lots of other runners.

    But all of these runners — myself included — are more than just runners. And when we choose to be, we can make darn good boyfriends, girlfriends & spouses ๐Ÿ™‚

    Thanks for sharing your insight, and I hope to find (or better yet, create) something in-between “single” and “intense serious relationship.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *